I am self harming…

What?

Self-harming is when you intentionally cause harm to yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, traumatic experiences or memories, neglect, or situations that you find overwhelming. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with. Self-harm can look different for different people. You might find yourself doing things which are harmful, but not think of them as ‘self-harm’. But that doesn’t make your experience any less valid. 

Self-harm can look like;

  • Cutting yourself

  • Using drugs or alcohol to cope with your problems

  • Not eating, over-eating, or forcing yourself to throw up

  • Spending all your time on addictive behaviours like gaming, social media or gambling

  • Over-exercising and/or exercising when you are injured

  • Biting, hitting, or burning yourself

  • Hitting walls

  • Getting into situation on purpose where you risk getting hurt, including fights or risky sexual behaviour.

Why?

There is a variety of reasons why someone might self-harm. Here are some possible reasons;

  • Using it as a way to express a feeling you find hard to put into words

  • Relieving overwhelming emotions or thoughts

  • Feeling like you have a sense of control over your own body

  • You might feel like you deserve the pain

  • A way to express suicidal thoughts and feelings

Some people might also start self-harming due to a stressful event or something upsetting that is hard for them to deal with, such as;

  • They might be suffering some form of abuse

  • They could have gone through a traumatic event

  • Divorce or familial troubles

  • Financial troubles

  • Bullying

  • A sudden change, such as a death, breakdown of a relationship, or moving school

  • Pressure from family, friends, or school. Particularly during exam times.

  • Body image issues or low self-esteem

  • Feeling guilty, like a failure or being unloved

  • Discrimination against their race, religion, sexuality, gender, or disability.

How can I help?

If you want to stop self-harming, but feel unable to at the moment, it’s important to keep yourself as safe as possible. This means keeping any wounds clean, avoid mixing drugs/alcohol with other forms of self-harm, making sure you have a form of support nearby. 

You also have helplines at your disposal, such as Samaritans on 116 123, 111, and 999 in case of emergencies. 

When you feel the urge to self-harm building, you could try to;

  • go for a walk or do some gentle exercise

  • distract yourself by focusing on your breathing

  • text a friend and let them know you need them to help you take your mind off things

  • play music and sing or dance along

  • hold an ice cube

  • write down your thoughts

  • hit a cushion or pillow

  • tear up a magazine or newspaper

  • make a self-soothe box

  • go to a public place like a park or a cafe

If you’re worried about someone you know the main thing is to make sure they know you are there for them and that they aren’t alone in what they are going through. Some tips are;

  • Stay calm, don’t get angry with them or frustrated. 

  • Ask them how they’re feeling without being judgmental.

  • Tell them their positive qualities.

  • Let them be in control of their own recovery.

  • Be patient with them.

  • Encourage them to get professional help.

Of course, if they need medical attention, take them to A&E for medical help. 

If you want to speak to someone about self-harming, or you want your child to speak to someone, use the contact form below and we’ll be in contact with an appointment.